A constant struggle

I just watched the Indian Stepmom remake 'We are Family.' My sister saw it earlier today and reminded me about watching it. I cried my ass off!! I do not cry much but when I watch sappy Indian movies, I cry and immensely enjoy doing so. It's a great movie; very subdued and the emotions felt real.
It made me start thinking again about the things our mothers do for us and how they give up so much for us. I complain about my mother and bicker with her night and day. I cant change it; I'm too used to it. I constantly think about her all day. What she's going to say or yell at me for. I also sometimes wonder what life would be like without her. 
I remember when my mother used to force me to pray tarawih at the mosque during the month of Ramadan, I'd huff and puff and go. I went on and on about how this won't count because I'm doing it for her and not Allah. Some days though I'd sit near near her and secretly look at her face. It felt like the saddest and most pure face I ever seen. it's the few times she lets go of her tough face that she keeps to keep everything in her life altogether. it's the few times where i let go of my own selfishness and just want to give in and do things her way. 
I don't want to feel guilty for not being there for her enough or being a replacement because no one else is by her side. I've done it for a long time , now I want to find my own life now and figure out what is important to me. I have a lot of growing up to do, and I need the space to do so. 
Yet, its a constant struggle between doing what I want and doing what she wants. I'm not perfect, I hope some day she accepts me just like that. I also know she will never stop trying to make me a better person or give up on me. 

Will Smith and Family on Oprah!

Will Smith and his wife and children were on Oprah today talking about family values and how they keep their marriage working. They sound so humble and I love what they say about having goals in their marriage to keep it moving more than the basics.

For all you people who are in you 20's and above, did you ever think it would be this hard to get what you've always thought you'd get? preferably relationship and work wise..

I think we all feel like we or our surroundings are just not normal. borderline fucking dysfunctional. what IS normal then? and how do you get yourself to feel it..

nope..boys are still insanely retarded. Do they EVER grow up..?

Few weeks ago my Uncle made a joke about me being stingy. I asked him why he thought so, he said was I don't see you spending or buying things. I didn't go on a rampage, all I said was I didn't work for just about two years, I had to stretch what I had in many way as I could.
I would've gotten offended, except I know how he is (completely materialistic) and I know i'm definitely not stingy. I had to sacrifice not being able to buy what the hell I want and still do. Its not my 'fault' that I don't think about shopping and having the latest things all the time. I just dont care enough, but I think I do more than others do, even at the minimum. I also don't believe in blowing everything on looking my best all the time. No energy and also what will I do with that If i have nothing left to use to go out or do something for others?
Point being, some people are into looking their best and that great. but Im not. it doesn't mean im stingy. If i was so stingy? why the hell dont have a shitload of money saved up? Lol.

wiser?

I'm noticing that married people start preferring to hang out with other married people, just like couples look for other couples to hang out with.
Does getting married mean you've attained more wisdom compared to single people?